Sunday, March 4, 2012

It Doesn't Make Sense

My heart is a jumble of mixed emotions right now.  I have gone from peaceful at the sight of the beautiful snowfall we received on Friday to purpose at the list of creative projects I had on my weekend schedule to now complete sorrow as I received news this morning that my cousin, Michael died suddenly yesterday.  He was only 31 years old and had been married for a little over three years to the love of his life, Lindsay. 

Michael lived life to the fullest and it was not until he met Lindsay did I see total joy on his face.  He and Lindsay were embarking on their life together, having purchased a home two years ago, adopting a dog, Baxter, to their family and planning for a family at some point.

From what we know now, Michael and Lindsay were skiing yesterday and were waiting for the chair lift when Michael collapsed.  Attempts to revive him were unsuccessful and an autopsy is scheduled for tomorrow, but the thought is that he died of either a heart attack or a blood clot (both conditions that ran in his family).

My heart is sad knowing I won't see his smiling face, or hear his voice, but I am even sadder for his wife, and my cousin Sarah (his sister) and my Aunt Chris.  My aunt was planning a visit to see Michael and Lindsay in less than two weeks.  It isn't fair that a parent has to bury their child, no matter the age.

It's eerie that my creative projects listed for this weekend involved making Sympathy cards.  I realized last weekend when I sent such a card to a co-worker when her father had died after a long illness, that my inventory of sympathy cards was running low.  I didn't think that I would be creating cards to be used immediately for my cousin's death.


What gives me comfort is that Michael is now with our Grandma Koch as well as his mom's best friend Diane.  The three of them will look over my aunt, my cousin and Lindsay and will be their guardian angels.